Wow

Wow. All I can say is, Wow! When have we ever seen anything like this? When have we ever felt such a swell of change and joy and optimism?

This is just the start. This is only the beginning. It's bright and shiny and new and mesmerizing. It is what we hoped for and worked for, prayed and begged for. It's a chance to hold our heads high -- proudly, again -- as Americans. Yes. We can.

We are still at war. Our economy is still in turmoil. This day does not change those realities. This day does not hide the work to be done...by all of us. This is just a start. But what a brilliant start.

I feel it in my core. In my heart of hearts. This is the beginning. The opportunity. The chance to live as we want. In a positive light. In a realness we haven't had in as far back as I can recall. With honor and respect, responsibility and ownership. We no longer need the smoke and mirrors of the past. Greed is not good. Debt will drag you down. Our environment cannot be ignored. It is time to innovate, change our outlook, our perspectives, our drives. We can change everything now. We've already started that process. Look at that man, the one we have as our leader and know that anything is possible. Like it or not.

Yes. We can. We can do anything. So, what do we really want to do? To have? I want more of this Wow to continue. For us to feel connected and strong. To be a country of community and fellowship and pride. To like each other. To come together. To know a time when things are easy because we aren't fighting for what we want. There's no need to fight or struggle when we work together. And there is much work ahead, work for us to do together.

I am ready, willing and able to do what I can to make this change permanent. To keep this Wow on tap. To remember this day always as the day we turned a heavy, leaden page to one that was crisp and clean and new. This is just the beginning. It's only the start. And I look forward to moving ahead and saying Wow often.

Under the Rainbow

Today is A Day Without A Gay. If you can't/won't call in gay today (and you can even do that if you are straight), I thought that it might be nice to take a moment and give praise to the gays in our lives (that includes lesbians, bisexuals and the transgendered, too). This might seem silly. We don't often get asked to reflect on how the Irish, Kenyans or Newfoundlanders have influenced us, or even the left-handed or hazel-eyed. But, it seems we continue to label gays as "different". So, vive la difference! Let's shine a light.

I'm asking you to share how a LGBT person has positively contributed to your life. Now, this could be as simple (and predictable) as the hairstylist who saved you from bad bangs or as profound as how that friend/lover/teacher/neighbor/doctor/boss/family member helped you when you needed it most. Here's mine:

Well, it's hard to pick just one. My first thought is to my friends. There is my gay husband who took me to my first gay bar back in the day where I had the absolute best time of my life (total belle of the ball moment) and opened my little suburban-raised eyes. My gay boyfriend who repeatedly talks me down from the ledge after long days with crazy blonde bosses (though, that phase is over -- thank God -- and, no, I'm not blonde bashing, it just happens to be a tonal fact). Then there is my gay doppelganger; he and I are sure that DNA tests will prove we are related. He has set me straight more than once (no pun intended). What they (and their friends) have given me is utter acceptance. Unlike other folds who have worried that I am too opinionated or lacking in tact, they wouldn't have me any other way than foot-in-my-mouth, no holds barred, my four-letter-word throwing self. They also don't mind wiping away the mascara streaks when I am deep in the bell jar. That absolute acceptance is something I deeply appreciate.

Whether it is a sweet story, a funny story or one that is life saving or changing, please share your story in the comments section. You can post as Anonymous if you like. My hope is that this opens a few eyes to the fact that we are more similar than we are different. Gay rights equals human rights. Let's bring down the hate and repeal Prop 8.

Just Sitting Here

Just sitting here in the peaceful morning. The air is crisp, but I would rather wrap myself up in my sweater than turn the heat on. The sun is diffused by the fog and it makes the morning seem younger than it really is. I want to savor the early day without caffeine or rushing to the gym. Today, I can take my time.

I've stepped off the roller coaster and the merry-go-round that has been the past two weeks. I stand steady again. No longer unsettled by the twists and turns. No longer feeling the need to scream as the cart goes sliding down the hill. I'm on solid ground. I keep tapping it with my feet. A subtle dance of calm.

They say laughter is the best medicine. It is so true. Hearing my friend's strength and humor and gorgeous laughter was exactly the elixir I needed. I knew she was fine. Sure she would beat this. But it took me a moment to realize it was her on the phone. It was such a sweet surprise.

"Do you have a moment?" she asked. "I have many," I returned. Then, I listened for an hour, mouth pinned in an ear-to-ear grin before the laughter took over. I kept mine as quiet as I could, not wanting to miss a word. At one point, she asked me to promise not to say anything else funny; she almost ripped a stitch. She said that as she was laughing. And I don't think we stopped until we said goodbye.

Shortly after we hung up, she sent a text that they were sending her home. We can forget how precious that four-letter word is until you are kept from it. Home now contains her family, her friends, her neighbors, her fans. We have all moved in, even if we are still far away. Crowding her in the best possible way. We are in this together. In it to win it.

She is not the same woman she was twelve days ago. Neither am I. I stand in awe of her strength, her courage, her determination, her positivity and grace. They say something like this changes you at your core. That is also so true. I suggest, however, that you don't wait for an awful diagnosis before you decide that life is too precious for bullshit and negativity. That you can truly overcome anything when you decide to and you ask your loved ones to support you. And the unexpected side effect is that, when you give that love out, it comes back to you in the most beautiful and peculiar ways.

There are more steps to be taken before this journey is through, but we are going to take each one with a great deal of joy. Who said chemo can't be fun? Deep down, who hasn't wanted to wear a wig? With that attitude, she has already won. Now do you see why we are all madly in love with her?

We are going forward with our eyes and hearts open, and our arms wrapped around each other tightly. Humbly moving forward, willing to do whatever needs to be done. Here's one thing you can do for her: Please encourage every woman you know to take the blood test for ovarian you-know-what (she and I don't like to use that C-word). She is young. She had no family history. Don't let age or genetic background be diversions. Don't wait for symptoms. Take the test. Demand it if you have to. They are seeing this in younger and younger women. This is something you can beat.

I am sitting here thinking of all the things I am grateful for. I have always counted my friendships as my deepest blessings. This one is truly frosting on my cake. And, here's the thing: Just because time has crept between you, even though there might be distance of many miles from door to door, that doesn't keep you from being as close as blood, in spirit or soul. The connection is there. They say friendships come to you for a reason, a season or a lifetime (we've all gotten that group email, right?). Well, I think it's all of the above. We see the reason, and know that there will be a somewhat challenging season coming up, but we so look forward to the lifetime of friendship -- one that is long and healthy -- full of laughter and stories that start with, "Remember the time..."

Loitering and Sauntering

Don't tell anyone, but I actually watched Lifetime. Well, we all will next year when "Project Runway" hits the channel. However, I got sucked in by the Chanel movie. Not particularly good, except for the clothes. I love me some Chanel. Not that you could tell. As I write this, I'm sitting in a Gap tee and track pants. Don't worry. I'm not in public.

Coco is a hero of mine. So is Anais Nin, Edith Head and Dorothy Parker. I like irreverent, groundbreaking, trailblazing women. Especially if they have a hint of hussy about them. I should've been a flapper. Prohibition would've been a bitch, though.

I'm not too much of a clothes horse, but there are certain things I do adore. The chicness of Coco's creations. The classic lines of Edith Head. Sadly, I've come to find that curves get in the way of some of the styles I love. The booty is not a friend of the simple sheath or drop waist. The fitted waists and full skirts of the fifties work. They just aren't practical for everyday living. But, when I look at the styles of Chanel and Head, their innovation and timeless grace, I stand in awe. Then go to my closet and cry.

My computer doesn't judge my attire. Words don't know what I'm wearing. Maybe that's why I'm most comfortable with them and write best when I have something soft on.

Most of my contemporary writing influences are men. Not sure why, but it's just worked out that way. Irvine Welsh and David Sedaris are the two at the top. But the two in my heart are broads. In the best sense of the word.

The wit of Dorothy and the descriptive prose (not porn) of Anais are the marks I regularly miss in my writing life. But, they keep me striving. I doubt I will live up to their level of mischief, either, but a girl can try. The lives they lead are as much of an inspiration as their words. It deepens the context of what they typed or let drip from their fountain pen. We have it almost too easy now. It's hard to have moxie in the wireless age. I think even that can be ordered online.

I've been known to buck convention on occasion. I did burn my bra (in college at a bonfire, and it was my best one), but I put another on the next day (I fight gravity like the enemy it is). But, I wonder what trails are left to be blazed? Which rules haven't been broken? What new direction can one travel? What might I offer the women who will follow me, even just those of my kin? I got to step in the shoe prints of Susan B. and Gloria G., have my eyes opened by Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou. I feel like a dilettante in the shadows of these great dames, loitering and sauntering my way through womanhood. Slowly, I'm finding my way. In a good pair of heels, Chanel shades and a Gap t-shirt.