25 February 2009

The Dance is Dizzying

It's been a blur. Everything. All of it. This year is not yet two months old and yet, to me, it's like there has never been a time before it. Like we did indeed clear the slate. The past is seemingly behind us. Out of sight, out of mind for me. And I am so happy.

I know I've said that over and over (I'm so happy...I'm so happy), but I am. Oh, that is not to say this year has been perfect or without any ass pains. No. There have been a few *displeasures*, shall we say, along the way. But I see them more as a shaking off of what's left of the past. There always has to be something to remind us where we have been, and what we have learned. It's all in an effort so we don't repeat ourselves, our missteps, our tracks.

Still, I've been rushing around so much, it's been difficult to keep the pace, catch my breath and remember what I'm supposed to be doing. Writing has sort of been a part of that. Oh, I've been writing, and writing and writing and writing, just not here. Which always sort of bums me out.

I kind of missed out on commenting on the insanity that is the Octomom. Seriously, she has a college-tuition amount of filler in her lips, signs of Botox usage on her forehead (obviously it's moving now because even *her* doctors wouldn't inject a pregnant woman), rhinoplasty and acrylic nails. Now *that's* a mother who sacrifices for her children. I'm not saying a hard-working mother does not deserve to be pampered or look as good as she wants. What I'm saying is, I know a lot of mothers with one child who *treat* themselves to the $20 mani-pedi (or do their own), who have learned to color their own hair, who haven't had a facial or seen a dermatologist in ages (let alone a plastic surgeon), because there is the baby's future to think about. How was she able to afford all of that stuff with six kids? How was she able to afford all that in vitro? I have so many questions, but none of them matter as much as the welfare of her fourteen children, who will likely end up in the care of others. Unbelievable, and beyond tragic.

And then there were the awards shows. My high holy holiday weekend of Spirit Awards and Oscars. I love them, I do. I become an embarrassing superfan of the film industry and giggle and clap and squeal. I typically do this alone or only with the closest of friends. And there is no talking. NO TALKING, PEOPLE. Until the commercials (which don't exist with the Spirit Awards...so that's a lot of not talking). Sadly, I thought this year's Oscars show was meh. How annoying was it for them to be playing music while the presenters spoke?!? And, please, in the name of all that's holy, get rid of the song and dance numbers. Please. This is not the Grammys nor is it the Tonys. Beyoncé lipsyncing takes away from the winners' speeches (which is what I am there for). Let's just ditch them altogether. It will save precious time and money. Thank you. Amen.

Now we can talk about Obama's address to Congress last night. Oh my. I only caught the last twenty minutes of the speech, but I think everyone in DC was feeling the soreness in their glutes and quads today from all the up-and-down-and-up-and-down with the many standing ovations they gave. Have you ever seen anything like that? I am so proud of our President. Yes, we have a long way to go. It won't happen overnight. And we all have to suck it up and take responsibility, pitch in and help out to make this work. So, let's do it, shall we?

I'm about to stimulate the economy with an iPhone. Ugh. The thought of switching from my beloved T-Mobile to that other carrier makes me want to cry. But, it looks like that will end up being the frugal-er way to go at the end of the day. And the debate between friends over the pros and cons of this switch makes my head swim. Oh, they think technology makes our lives easier, but I've got a Facebook thread three miles long going back and forth on this. It's so complicated. You give up one thing you really like/need/want for another you really want/need/like. I'm thinking we should just bring back 8-track tapes and LPs and be done with it. I'd vote for the covered wagon comeback, too, but as I'm deathly allergic to horses that would be sort of dumb.

And now, she who cannot figure out which phone to get, is about to go off and optimize user functions for someone else's websites. Can you believe someone is trusting me with that? Me neither. But, if I want a new iPhone, I'd better get to it. Yes, I do dangle a carrot every now and then. Don't you?

The dance of late has left me dizzy. But it's all of my own doing. The speed of Life is rushing me along. It's all I can do to not trip over myself. But I mean that in a good way.

10 February 2009

Electronic Revolt

I don't know what's going on. Or off, actually. My TiVo died. My iPod is on its last leg (has been for months, but the buzzards are circling) and my BlackBerry is positively geriatric, annoying me to the point that it's sort of mocking me to buy another.

Why is it this kind of stuff always happens at once? When I'm haphazardly employed, taxes are due and I just bought a ticket to NYC I could barely afford (but with airfare so low, I couldn't afford to pass it up, either)? And the choices that are presented as possible solutions are not exactly economically helpful or emotionally appealing. By the way, there's a recession going on. My timing is always perfect.

TiVo can be replaced for $149 (but that extra cash is carrying me to Eastern Standard Time). A TimeWarner DVR is $19 extra per month. I can't stand TimeWarner; the idea of giving them an extra dime gives me slight angina. I want them out of my life...but Verizon and DirecTV aren't really options I'm excited about either. And I will not be able to survive a day without an iPod. So, do I just get a Nano? Or do I splurge and get the Touch?

But, that brings up the BlackBerry issue. If I need a new iPod and want a new phone, should I just get an iPhone? But, I want to stay on T-Mobile. An unlocked, unjailed (whatever the hell that is) iPhone is like $700. WTF? So, now I'm back to a Nano and my GeriBerry...and a TW DVR. Because we are in a recession. And my spoiled need for electronic conveniences and entertainment has to get on board with that. And I've got to run. I have to turn in my cable box now so I can record tonight's "Biggest Loser". Because I sort of am one lately.

02 February 2009


So, there seems to be a kerfuffle about Jessica Simpson's weight. She's not the first to get the ribbing. Don't forget, Christina and Britney got skewered, too.

It happens to the best of us. Ugh. I hate to admit it here, but I put on thirteen pounds over my two-year writing spree (though, some of that was still leftover weight from the bad Pill I took...yeah, you Seasonale!). I still have five pounds to go before I can fit into all of my jeans. It's a drag. But I'm not going to sugarcoat weight gain and do the sisterhood bonding thing here. No. I'm going to argue another side of this. So, bear with me.

Jessica is getting the flack she's getting because she was happy to dance around in her short-shorts, showing off her perfect body (for a fast food company, no less). And, who wouldn't? Hey, when I was at my fittest, it was all tank tops and skinny jeans for me. I wanted you to see my shoulders and the definition in my arms. I've never had the perfectly flat belly one would desire; still, I've been known to expose mine. And I would so choose jeans that would bring out the best of my butt, then don the right heels to do even more for it. "Exposing" yourself is a natural reaction to all that hard work and discipline. Your body feels so good when you are feeding it well with lots of veggies and lean protein, and exercising it hard each day. It's almost vibrating from all that energy. And that bod does not want to be cooped up in clothing. No. So, I'm not at all against showing what you got while you've got it. (But, do keep it tasteful, okay?)

When Jessica was super fit, she was also on the covers of magazines, the topic of talk shows. We commented on her weigh then, too. But, because those comments were mostly positive, everyone was happy. Even when people would say, "Isn't she too thin?" others would bark, "Leave her alone. That's her natural body." It's an endless back and forth put together by the media that readers and watchers participate in...even the ones doing the defending. And I am over it.

Here's my thing: If you want to put your body on display and make yourself an icon of beauty, sex and/or fitness, go for it. But do it with the understanding that you have put yourself out there for scrutiny. That way, you won't be surprised if people start talking when things aren't as "perfect" as they once were. It's the double-edged sword of being in the public eye. It's also the double-edged sword of saying, "Look at me!"

It seems we only want to hear the good stuff and don't know how to take the bad. I think we all need to grow up. There are always going to be people -- whether they are in the press or on the PTA -- who are going to gossip about the slightest thing. There are always going to be people who will say mean things to make themselves feel better. These are people I don't really want to be around. But, the fact is, Jessica -- just like Christina and Britney before her -- gained some weight in the public eye. We notice because they tended to wear clothing that left little to the imagination. We noticed because they went from one extreme to something other. My question is: Who cares?