27 January 2009

A Snag in the Silk

My friends are dangerous, dangerous people. Seriously. They are great and fabulous, too, but totally dangerous. Why, you ask? They plant little seed bombs in my ear that breed paranoia and force me to change or give up things I love. And that's just mean.

First, let me start by saying that none of this would have happened if flipping Starbucks didn't change their soy milk from Silk to something that tastes like ass. Yeah, you, Starbucks. The company I've been loyal to for thirteen years. The venti-soy-no-foam-lattes that I made a dedication to in my book. You think that thing wrote itself? No. I was high on Starbucks the whole time. Why? Because writing is really draining, though somehow burns no calories and actually slows your metabolism, which is such a ripoff. And soy lattes made with Silk taste like heaven. Now, they taste like monkey butt. Thanks, Starbucks.

Anyway, I was in the car with a friend bitching, obviously, about the soy ass latte I was trying to gag down when she said to me, "You know, you shouldn't be having soy in the first place. It brings on early menopause."


What kind of a friend tells you that at like nine in the morning? Well, she's a good friend, actually. One of my favorites. But, totally effing dangerous. Granted, she wasn't the first friend to tell me that. I have a lot of friends who are way into holistic, alchemical shizzel that are always harping on me to give up something. I have so few vices. Really. Booze and soy and chocolate. I get antioxidants with my booze (hello, pomegranate martini), and my chocolate is 85% cocoa. Healthy. Anyway, I was stubborn about the soy. Until my friend opened her mouth.

I couldn't even finish the latte. Not only because it was vomitous but because every time I brought it up to my lips "early menopause early menopause" echoed in my ears. Farg.

Now, remember that I have super powers, and the problem with my super powers is that once something is in my head, it usually happens. Jeebus. So, I have to put the brakes and the kibosh on this. I've given up all my soy. And as a ficaken (which is a lazy vegan who occasionally eats fish or cake), soy is a huge part of my diet. This removal complicates my already complicated, inconvenient diet even more. Sigh. Okay, I still let myself have soy cheese nachos, but those are medicinal for my friend dealing with It as a show of support. That's her favorite, and since she can't have them, I do when she has chemo for some extra mojo. For her, I'll risk it. But, for the rest of the time, I've got to find a way to fall in love with almond milk or the like. Effing Starbucks.


Penny said...

Interesting post. I do know that when my "other mother" had breast cancer, the doctors told her to cut out all soy products. It made me think, Why wait until we have the effing diagnosis if it's a problem? Wondered same about my aunt when she fell ill with same, and they told her to stop coloring her hair. Do I still color my hair? Yes. Does it terrify me every time. YES!!

Chad said...

Now, wait just one confounded minute here. There is no reliable evidence connecting soy in one's diet with either an early onset of menopause or an increased risk of breast cancer. Speculation is pretty rampant (even among some doctors), because of the phytoestrogens in soy, that consuming soy or soy products could affect your bodily chemistry like human horomones can, e.g. stimulating breast tissue. The meat and dairy industries, unsurprisingly, can usually be found funding the spread of these (and other) soy warnings. But no data indicating any adverse effects has emerged...in fact, a meta-analysis published in 2006 found a reduction in risk of breast cancer among premenopausal women who consumed soy. And the benefits of eating soy are well understood, including its use as a treatment for early menopause and cancer (among other maladies).

So don't believe it. Keep eating soy. Highly processed soy suppliments and the like are questionable, but naturally-occurring soybean foods are good for you.

The thing about Starbucks is, you really shouldn't be getting your coffee there anyway, unless you're on the road and it's your only chance for a soy latte in Duluth. When you live in Venice, you get your lattes at Urth on Main St., where they roast their own organic coffee beans (the best I've ever tasted) and use Pearl soymilk (which makes the perfectly respectable Silk taste like greywater in comparison). Have you tried it?

RUAWAKE said...

I know the jury's out on soy. Some say YEA, others say NAY. I believe the natural, non-GMO is fine...but that's getting harder to find...or at least trust.

For me, if you plant something in my head, I'll likely make it happen. Because I'm a dork. I know that tofu and edamame are good, but I'm so lazy from writing so much that I would rather make a grilled "cheese" or a "chicken" patty (the Boca ones are so good) than make a salad. I am a bad ficaken.

I love Pearl (so good), but hate Urth. It is so obnoxiously, pretentiously overpriced there. I should go to Groundworks (it's on the way to my gym), but I'm trying to be off the coffee altogether.

The thing is, the whole point of changing my diet was to be more responsible for my health (and the environment). When I write, I crave comfort foods, so off to A Votre Sante I go for soy "cheese" nachos (they are organic). Kind of missing the mark. So, it's good for me to rule out the easy foods for now and make myself cook (lentils and salad for dinner tonight. w00t!).

And I do adore Starbucks. My baristas are the best. But, it's all organic green tea and lemon now. I'm being good. Except for the occasional A Votre Sante nachos. Did I mention they were organic?