17 December 2008

Change Anything Change Everything

I don't think I can wait for the New Year. I need a change now. Somehow, that's easier to say than do.

See, I don't want to change just anything; I want to change EVERYTHING. Absolutely everything. It occurred to me that I want to start living my life the way I want to live my life. Doesn't that sound utterly absurd? Like, what other way would I live my life? Well, around other people for one, and my wallet for another. And then there's the lack of time to do half the stuff I need to, not to mention what I would like to. I know I'm not alone in that. But, is that what really hinders us from living how we really want, or is that the easy excuse? Perhaps a little of both? I don't know. It just seems a shame that I have let those things stand in my way. But, no longer.

I suppose it was easy to let work or a tight budget restrict me. Some might even cite that as being responsible. I think what I haven't realized, now that I'm back working at home and not for a nut-job boss, is that I have the time I need to do what I should do for the life I want to have. There isn't a rush anymore. Sure, there are hours to put in, work to do and deadlines to meet, but I no longer have to look around to see what I need to avoid. I can just look at what's in front of me. How novel! And isn't it asinine that this just occurred to me? I know. I baffle myself sometimes. Whatever. At least the notion made its way through my thick skull and I can finally do something about it. Though, I might wait for Monday to set this change in motion. I'm too stoned on Midol to deal with it now.

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