25 July 2008

WTF JCP?

I guess we really have The Beatles to blame. Up until they sold "Revolution" to Nike, it was beyond uncool to hand your music over to a corporation to be exploited in a thirty-second commercial. It branded you as a sell-out. Put your artistic integrity in the crapper. It was just not done.

I miss those days.

It's not bad enough that I have to hear punk rock songs hawking shite to the masses. No. Now they are stealing films from my youth.

I nearly barfed up my soy crisps when I saw the extended JC Penney ad running in the movie theatre. It took me a second to believe it was really happening. A two-minute breakdown of one of the seminal movies of the 80s: The Breakfast Club. It was horrific. About as bad as Iggy Pop shouting for a family cruise line, only longer. With worse clothes, and more kids. Sullying everything beautiful about that film. Burning its bastardization onto my retinas. I will not be the same.

All I could keep thinking was, "Whadafug?! Does John Hughes know? Will he sue? Please, dear God, let him sue. Please, don't tell me he actually approves of this! Do they have to ruin everything?"

While it's most likely that the studio owns the rights to the movie, I would hope and pray that the man who shuns the spotlight, rarely gives interviews, gave us Jake and stopped directing after Curly Sue wouldn't stand for such muck and would litigate the matter on principle alone. John Hughes is a hero. A protector of the rebel, savior to the nerd, a guardian of the outcast. Please, tell me he didn't sell us all out.

And don't let Sixteen Candles be next...or worse...turned into a musical.

(The godawful ad wasn't available on YouTube. Here's the original trailer.)



UPDATE: The blasphemy is up on YouTube, but they have disabled embedding. Cowards. Or maybe it was by John Hughes' request. Either way, here's the link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=CWFsOkvGAug

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