09 September 2008

Nice Genes

I saw on the AP wire that gene testing is on sale. Now, I won't spend more than $75 on denim (I'm super effing cheap sometimes), but, for the price of an iPhone (the expensive one that works), I can have my DNA spun and a tale of my ancestry and potential diseases told. And I so want to do it! (Wondering what to get me for Christmas? A gift certificate to 23andMe would be lovely. Thank you.)

You have no idea how this fascinates me. I don't geek out on much, but DNA makes me want to don a pocket protector. I've often considered my gene pool a murky swamp, what with my asthma, allergies, Epstein-Barr, the ulcers that healed only to morph into severe gastritis (I preferred the three ulcers)...the list goes on. We haven't even tackled what "runs" in my family that I have so far avoided. Surprisingly, even with all I've got going on, I function sans meds (if you saw my allergy panel, you would think they would have moved me into a plastic bubble), sans caffeine, too (except for the trace amounts in my organic green tea; the EBV is back under control). I'm kind of an anomaly. I've stumped my doctors more than once. So, health-wise, I would love to get a full panel on what made me who I am today, and what I might want to keep an eye out for tomorrow. An ounce of prevention and all that.

I know a fair chunk of my lineage, but I'd like to get the rest of the story. I know I come from a strong beer drinking lot (that would be the English and German strands of my DNA already determined through other sources). I assume from my love of champers there's a bit of Gaul to go along with my gall. I wouldn't doubt some Russian as well, as my penchant for the vodka might hint. I was already told by a Belfast man that, if I were Irish, I would come from a Scottish clan of horse thieves who fled to Ireland to avoid prosecution (i.e., death). That sounds about right and would explain my love of men in kilts, a death-inducing allergy to horses (call it karma), and why I feel so safe in Dublin. Love of Guinness would equally be accounted for by my aforementioned beer-drinking roots mixed with taste-bud evolution.

Do I buy into this wholeheartedly? No. It's right up there with getting my astrology chart done, my handwriting analyzed or my palm read. Being a California chick, I'm into all that. It's meant to be fun. Any insight is a bonus. Enjoy the parts that fit, blow off the rest. Still, I'm hoping for a big DNA reveal. Like being a part of a royal bloodline. I think tiaras are fabulous and would like an excuse to wear one all the time.

1 comment:

Melanie said...

Very cool. I would love to have that done, soon it will be all the rage. Can you imagine the talk at cocktail parties? Sounds like quite a quite a conversation starter! I'm holding out though, I'm betting on the test kit to show up in my neighborhood Walgreen pharmacy within the next five years right next to the drug test kits, STD test kits etc. I want to do it, but I want it to be cheap. I'm thrifty that way.