First, October

Where the hell did the year go? Again?! I am so not digging how quickly time is flying by. The hands of the clock move so swiftly, those little bastards don't even bother ticking. Seems they don't have time for that tedious little task. I want to just scream, "Slow thaffug down!" But I'm not sure whom to scream it. Me? God? The little gerbils in the center of the Earth running on the wheel that spins our planet? Just to take it from a sprint to a soft jog. Please.

See, first, it's October. Then, it's Thanksgiving. Christmas and New Year's come in a wham-bam flash and, the next thing you know, it's ucking-fay axes-tay. I can't bring myself to say it. I dread January for that reason. Once again, I haven't entered anything into QuickBooks. It's become tradition that Martin Luther King, Jr. Weekend is spent prepping to pay that man Sam. Pathetic. Every year, I swear to be more diligent with my bookkeeping. Every year, I let myself down, and waste a rare holiday weekend to make up for it. Sometimes, I suck.

I sort of have a love/hate relationship with October. I love the crispness of the autumn weather (though, yesterday, it got over 90 degrees in Malibu...which is a sign of the apocalypse). I love that I get to put on my cozy sweaters and fabulous boots. I love pumpkin pie. Halloween, however, I hate. This, coming from a Pagan. Can't stand it. Never really did. I was only in it for the sugar as a kid. And the only thing good about All Hallows Eve is the plethora of "fun size" candy you can get on sale after it.

Yes, first it's October, then it's the hangover brought on by the year that flew by. I'm just trying not to blink. Don't want to wake up in February.