T'Was Only a Matter of Time

It was bound to happen. I slept through my alarm. I suppose it could've been worse. At least I didn't turn it off (which I have done more than once) and wake up at the time I was supposed to be there (which, too, I have done more than once). This time, I just smacked my snooze button. For over an hour. I woke in a panic not just because I was late, but because I set my alarm clock thirty minutes fast and I can't do math first thing in the morning. Not even something as simple as deduct a half-hour from the time. The sad thing is, I've done this since high school, and I still can't figure it out.

My saving grace was that I'm still attempting to make it to the gym (which hasn't happened in two weeks) and I'm setting the alarm extra early hoping that today will be the day I make it to the treadmill. So, technically, I simply slept through my workout. Again.

Side note: If I end up as "died in her sleep", you will know what really happened is that I overslept, attempted to do math in a panic and my heart and/or brain exploded.

Fortunately, I was able to get in the car on time, with a shower and styled hair and clothes on. Unfortunately, every car in the world was on the road today. Usually, my drive is a clear shot. Traffic is so freaking weird. Once the road opened up, my lead foot started itching, but, up ahead, I spotted a police car. Sigh. I hung back at a safe distance. Slowly, though, the number of cars between me and the fuzz reduced until I was right behind him. I resigned myself to the fact that there would be no morning latte that day.

Then, I noticed the silver Audi that had been riding my ass had changed lanes and ended up next to the cop at the light. She wasn't shy. They were neck and neck for a few miles, and then she pulled ahead. It was only a matter of time. Part of me wanted to applaud her. The other part just waited to see this play out. The moment her car cleared the police cruiser, he threw on his lights and pulled her over. All I could think was, Duh. You don't pass a cop. That's like Driver's Ed 101. After my mental litany of judgments and mockery, I said a little prayer, giving thanks that it wasn't me on the side of PCH whipping out my license, registration and proof of insurance and cursing my lead foot. My soy latte tasted extra sweet that morning. And the alarm has been pushed out of arm's reach, just for good measure.